Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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