What did we do last night that was yellow?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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