so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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