omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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