I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
