i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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