it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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