batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
