Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
