Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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