There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This house was built for laser tag.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
