Got a toothbrush?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
