I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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