I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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