He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
