real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
