I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
