You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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