i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
