apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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