Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
