Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
