FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Who died my cat blue again?
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