so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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