Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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