Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
