im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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