u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
