Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
