woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
