I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
