the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
