i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
