Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
