"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
