She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dear god my vagina.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
