Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
