U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
