dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
