I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
