dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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