Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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