id be glad to
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
