he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
