we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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