Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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