i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
