I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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