hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
