I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize