I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
