Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
