your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize