so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They have beer where we have blood.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
