Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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