they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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