i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
