Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
