So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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