She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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