You smell like stripper and shame
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize