I faked an abortion last night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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