I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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