I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
