i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
