A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
