trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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