wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
