I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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